Part of my agenda to at least maintain the appearance of being a grown-up entailed deleting yet another Myspace account…which was home (one profile after another) to My Blog (angels can be heard clucking their tongues as I am writing this). Don’t worry, I saved them all and I am systematically re-posting the relevant ones here.
You can still find the skeletal remains in cached forms on our fabulous web. A web that traps and weaves and manages to make anyone look both witty and utterly ridiculous simultaneously.
Bear that in mind as you struggle to comprehend the incomprehensible..that is..your fellow man (turn of phrase, means nothing).
Or is it “turn a” and not “turn of”? Why am I asking you?
Google says it’s both. I say shut up Google and pick a side. “Turn of” it is. Shut up, now.
There are several things you will learn about me in this blog-o-verse.
1. I say things like “blog-o-verse”.
2. I like lists.
3. I say “like” a lot.
4. I begin almost every thought with “I”, unless it remains in my head. There I don’t feel the need to refer to my thought in any way that defines ownership. It just is. Deep, huh?
5. I laugh at my own jokes.
6. Seeing as how history repeats itself (passed the blame, here) I tend to be obsessive in relationships.
7. I harbor under the illusion that it means that yes, I really love you all.
8. I would really like to sound intelligent, but my vocabulary is that of a 6th grader who read some great books and understood nothing. Mere shadows of a brain, methinks.
9. Often, while being overly critical, I sound like some bastardized Sherlock Holmes in my head.
Since I brought up my impending grown-up-ness..how about I elaborate on that while you jot down every catchphrase you can remember from 1997-2009 ? Good? Let’s do this.
After the Myspace came the ubiquitous Facebook.
Well, really I joined Facebook several years ago, with some Myspacers who thought..and..we were constantly being banned from the forums so joining Facebook became a silent rebellion that no one cared about.
Yes, I am lame. Don’t judge.
I was never active on it until the final time I deleted Myspace…then in a panic of needing to be social on a network of my peers I went batshit nuts on Facebook…
Turned out feeling cheap. I think I have woken up from one-night stands with more respect for myself than I felt blowing up Facebook.
I became swamped with friend invites and suggestions (ha, they weren’t there!) of people I should friend. Most of them were people I went to high-school with..and fuck those guys, really.
We weren’t friends in high-school, we ain’t friends now.
Being the wonderful and attention starved self-righteous piece of fine ass that I am, I befriended them anyway. Superficially, that is.
I still feel like a whore for that.
So I uploaded some photos, wrote on some walls, flirted with some ex-boyfriends and that was that. No blogs on Facebook.
After nearly 500 words we get to the meat of my point, here. I missed blogging.
I never kept a diary growing up. I’d write down events, thoughts, deep-dark secrets and silly crushes sporadically in a spiral notebooks and then immediately destroy it.
Then I could not bear a permanent reminder of my bullshit, but it appears I can now.
I truly believe the older you get the more of a masochist you become, and that is exactly what blogging is. Still a step more dignified than a video diary, but you know…just a step.