Edited for anonymity…and accuracy…
To J.B. – your surprising and misplaced enthusiasm for religion turned me off. You only made this list because you took my official virginity. (which beget a lifetime habit of “meh”)
To S.W. – I miss your mechanical skills, and cumming in 90 seconds isn’t normal.
To J.L. – I still hate what I did, but I’m prettier than her. (is finally understanding looks never matter in the long run)
To R.H. – You got old. So many years wasted chasing your shadow, which brings me to…
To R.M. – It was only really incredible once. (Okay, a few times)(but you are such a coward, like, the definition of coward. Cliche coward. Hilarious-in-a-way-that-I-cannot-comprehend-what-I-find-so-damn-wonderful-about-you-because-you-are-such-a-coward coward.
To J.T. – What the fuck?? Really?? Ooooh, I get it…it’s phony macho bullshit honor.
To J.M. – I’m still talking to R.M.