from you to me

I could say and ask a thousand things, but I just can’t.  Not now.  I’ll stick to still just being your fool.

So I’ve been reading a lot lately…

You are my Dulcinea.  Statues pay tribute to you in Spain, but I can’t give you that.  Just this “hopeless and unrequited love” that never seems to go away.  Just a girl from the country, whom I see rarely see and never really speak to.  I’d give anything to even have just a photograph of the shadow of your profile.  It’s insane how attracted to you I am.  I’ve gone at length describing your hands to strangers.  I’m always wound around your perfectly slender fingers, and you know it.

My Wealhtheow.  You worry for your future and your sons.  Your strength and hard work are admirable.   I can’t ever be your King, but I’ll honor your request to defend you and your (our) son, and never leave him, no matter what awful monsters come tearing down your door, whether they come from inside the house or from far away.  Like I said, I’ll always stand by you as a Lover, a Mother, a Friend.  However you want me.
Lastly, my Sorais for many reasons.  How to say them all without saying the things I don’t want to say? She’s a bit more obscure than the others.  I am Captain Good and you are Sorais.  “Poor Justin” as you always say.  “Thou pale-souled fool, for a reward thou shalt eat thy heart with love of me and not be satisfied, and thou mightest have been my husband and a king!  At least I hold thee in chains that cannot be broken.”  Then she declared war and set 10,000 shield and spear soldiers upon her sister in a rage of jealousy, for one man, and it wasn’t Captain Good.

And our hero in that tale, Alan Quatermain, put it nicely…”As elephant hunters know, dried grass shows which way the wind has set.”

And what the fuck, David Byrne, why the hell not? Plenty of gems from this song, but these stand out…

This compass points in two directions
And North and South are both the same

I love you and I love my son.  The way I feel when I see the two of you together, no one can take that from me and I am the only person that can feel it.

I still don’t know you so much, but I still get small new bits here and there. I have never been able to explain it fully.  I saw something…I still do. I just know I’ve always wanted you, only you, only for me.  But you don’t want that, won’t even agree to just not have anyone else even if we’re not together.  You have my heart god dammit and I really don’t want to give my body to anyone else.

I just keep hoping one day you’ll break down to me – with something. Maybe take your big scary paper thin mask off, just a little. But you have…slowly, over the past year.  Shit, I’ve known you for almost 2 years and I’m still just a stammering idiot around you.  I know this, and I hate it.  I’m not always like that you know.

Anyway, you can go snickering away now and make fun of this cheesy pathetic drivel with Cary.  Maybe post it up in the girls locker room.

I said I wasn’t going to say anything more than a few quotes from books.  Always say too much. Stopping before I start reading the “Letters from Psychotic Men” website and delete the whole thing.

I’m covered in scratches, bruises and bite marks.


About me

I am great.
This entry was posted in Nonsense, politics. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s