I am callous and cruel
Thoughtless and unforgiving
Slight and weary
Broken and non-redeeming
Near-sighted and quick
Quick to lash out
Quick to come back
Quick to leave again
I hurt when I hurt, I bite when I come.
I exit less gracefully – I enter with full force.
I linger on the sublime – I dream of the ridiculous
I fear everything and everyone.
I am weak. Shallow. Self-absorbed. I complain, mock, pounce. I abhor your flaws. I’ve repressed mine. Ignoring.
I don’t care. I don’t care.
My children are my only asset. The love, the love. My head hates itself. My heart aches for more. My soul will be at peace when I can care for others as deeply and sincerely as others have once cared for me.
Tired. I want sleep, I want blissful ignorance.
I wish to stay above the weights I cast upon myself. This is a lie. I have no plan, I have no goals. The only wish I have is for my children to grow, healthy and strong – in mind, body and soul. I hope they will turn out well, in spite of their stupid mother.