Why I hate Administrative Professionals Week

This is a little late but I have to post it. I was having a conversation with a coworker on why I generally hate the idea of Administrative Professionals Week. First, why the fuck is a whole week? She transcribed our conversation and posted it on Facebook, so here it is (a couple of details are incorrect but you’ll get the gist:

ASSISTANT:”I hate flowers. They’re bullshit, unless my kids pick me the weedy kind, then that’s cute. My last job, my attorneys got me one of those fruit bouquets for Staff Appreciation Day. Ok, FIRST of all, I hate fruit. I only eat things that are bad for me. I was there 5 years, they should have known that. SECONDLY, those things are so cutesy and I hate cutesy, so thanks for rubbing THAT in my face, and THIRDLY I fucking hated that job and they didn’t bother to know me so it just made me hate them more.” ME:”I’m sorry to laugh, but I’m picturing you boiling with rage as you stare at an adorable edible fruit “floral”arrangement on your desk.” ASST:”I was furious! Look, it’s bad enough that my kids are probably going to be working for their kids one day, but did they really have to rub my nose in it?!!!” ME:”Can’t breathe. Buckling over from truth. Ohhhhh, I hear you sister. I’m older than some of the partners…or just a few years younger. That gets you some days…like a cantaloupe ball through your soul.”

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