I hope (if I wake… you know the rest)

That I wake up in the morning with only the *good* before and after people still in my memories and life.

Nothing else. Nothing of me but what I am to them. And I guess that would just leave no one. Not even my boys. Not because they are bad, obviously, but because I
am (shit, I am shit) so very not what they need. She was smart. She got out before I could fuck her up and fucked me up instead.

That’s something I could never accomplish.

Why only babies that have hurt no one and not grown women that destroy everything??? Answer that, goddammit. Why can’t I suffocate in my fucking sleep? Why does an entire fucking bottle do nothing?

Never can hurt someone without hurting myself more.

My smart girl. My wonderful boys. I love you. I’m sorry you crapped out and got me. I’m still trying to be good enough for you.

About me

I am great.
This entry was posted in Death, Filth, God, Lies, Nonsense, Stress, Suicide, Tallulah, The Only Shit That Means Anything and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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