Pretty sure I’ve used that title before. I’m stealing it from Ice Cube – just in case y’all didn’t know.
Typing this on my phone coz my laptop doesn’t like sharing space with my belly.
Where’s the fucking inspiration?
I’m pregnant (again, yeah yeah), things are going relatively well. Don’t hold back, now, Kim. On the surface things look pretty good.
Good guy. Good kids. Good job. Good.
Then. After she died, and especially before/during/after shock therapy, it seemed to me that I finally felt all the feelings. Anger was the biggest. Still is. I know it’s normal. I know it happens. I know it isn’t *forever* (because who needs to keep learning that lesson, right!) but now feeling the absence of those emotions is just, tiring? Bleh? I’m just fucking down and stuck and I feel like I shouldn’t be.
I want to be excited. I want to be angry. I want to just feel awake in my own life. I don’t know how to do that, I guess. Springtime. Who needs it?
I guess I’m not in the mood to write, after all.