Category Archives: Nonsense

So…


Got engaged last night. On purpose. Not pregnant. Squuueeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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The trouble with having a one-track mind


Misheard QOTD: J: I have the strangest erection right now. K: (confused stare) K: what’s wrong with your rectum? J: ( Jaw drops) Nooo I said “erection”. [Seconds earlier I told him that I wanted to fuck him in the … Continue reading

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Thank you, gentlemen, for helping me appreciate a good man when I found one.


     

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You make me want to be a better caveman.


I wanna like, go hunt something with you and kill it with our bare hands, skin it, eat it, fuck you and then draw a fucking mural on the wall of all that. Continue reading

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Dear Mrs. Plath


Remember that time when I thought I could write poetry? That was fun. Well, we may have more in common than we thought. They call it electroconvulsive therapy now. You’d know that if you were still alive. My doctor wants … Continue reading

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Well it happened


I missed your birthday, baby girl, I can’t believe it. You’d be five months old now. Meemaw would be trying to feed you some gross shit she cooks and I’d be hollering at her. Maybe you’d be trying to sit … Continue reading

Posted in Death, Love Love Love, Nonsense, Tallulah, The Only Shit That Means Anything | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

How To Set Yourself Up For The Upcoming Letdown


Obviously, I don’t mind being let down. I expect to be let down. I prepare to be let down. It still hurts to be let down. I haven’t found that off switch yet, but am confident that it will be … Continue reading

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